(a translated version of the story Herra og Frú Smith)
Some people cry with their eyes. Tiny drops of salt that glide unforced and dignified down the cheeks. Others cry with their heart. Heart crying comes with numerous and often unfortunate side effects. For example the red nose, sobbing, bloodshot eyes, chapped lips and the fact that everyone around you is left soaked because of the waterworks. The voice gets a mind of its own and resembles an exotic bird species during the mating time instead of the normal manner of speaking.
Mr. Smith had always admired his wife for her unique ability to cry with her eyes. Mrs. Smith who always was calm, could almost mechanically and without any strain turn on the flow. This always occurred on suitable moments. She could even control if her tears were marked with condolonce, anger or pure happiness.
This is something Mr. Smith had never been able to do. He belonged to the group of us who cry with our hearts. Nobody could predict when he was going to break down. After a hard day at the office Mr. Smith could start weeping over overcooked potatoes are a heartfelt news report. Once he started it took a lot too get him to stop. The sorrow shook him like a newborn. Other times like at funerals when he felt like everyone was staring at his dry cheeks, he couldn’t squeeze out a tear. Despite Mrs. Smith constantly shoving her elbow in his side, she ofcourse contributed her fair share.
It wasn’t just tears that Mrs Smith had under control. Mrs Smith was never overborne with emotion. She had been that way for as long as she could remember and longer than that according to her aged parents. She never bumped into anything, she picked her words carefully and she never shouted at the heavens in despair.
That was probably why her school sisters were shocked when her realationship with Mr. Smith was made official. He the emotional being that could hurt people and fill them with happiness at the same time. And she, well the way she was. They did not linger on the matter though. Mrs. Smith had always minded her own business when it came to their personal life, love and sorrows. Therefore they did not find it appropriate to nose around too much.
Mr. and Mrs. Smith don’t have any children. Not because they don’t like children, not at all. Mr. Smith loves to run around and play with kids and Mrs. Smith knows of few things better than too sit with a clean quiet baby in her arms. But it’s hard for Mr. Smith to understand when to stop playing and in the end he winds up exhausted, irritated and whiny like the rest of the tired youngsters. For Mrs. Smith it’s the unruliness. Children cause a disturbance to the routine. Late nights, diaper changing and mess are all an unavoidable part of having offsprings. Mostly Mrs. Smith was afraid that the chaos would take over herself.
Therefore they agreed on being just the two of them. They don’t even have a pet because Mr. Smith is allergic. The only thing he can tolerate are hairless reptiles for example lizards and snakes. Mr. Smith had a salamandra as a child. Mrs. Smith does not approve of reptiles as pets. As a child Mr. Smith was wild. Or that was what his teachers called him “the wild one”, his mother called him a silly cat. In those days being full of life and mischievous was still considered a quality but today he would be put on medication. If that would have been the case his parents hair wouldn't have turned gray this early.
Mr. Smith's parents eat a lot of orange jam. That's what they consider a successful marriage. Not uncontrolable passion and events. But to sit together in silence and eat home baked bread with jam.
Sometimes Mr. Smith gets lost, a lot of the times mentally and many times physically as well. Mrs. Smith never fails to find him.
When Mr. Smith dies Mrs. Smith is going to form a reggae band.